Thursday, February 10, 2005

anxiety

It seems that ever since we've moved back into the central time zone, we've made an extra effort to get together with family. I'm so thankful that we are able to do that again. Oregon was so far away. Now that we are here, I fully appreciate the ability to hop in the car and be with family within less than 24 hours, if needed.

So once again, I'm off to my brother's house next weekend, the 18th. I wish it were under better circumstances though. It seems that his son Zach has some new symptoms related to his nevus that are quite problematic. He's had headaches and extreme mood swings and even worse, his nevus has changed colors. The ridge at the base of his skull is more pronounced and he has blood spots in his eyes. He also is very pale with purple-ish rings under his eyes and he isn't sleeping well.

Tim and Tiffany made an appointment with the neurologist this past Wednesday. The doctor didn't seem too concerned initally but he isn't that familiar with Zach's condition. He sent the information to a Pediatric Radiologist along with an MRI from this past summer and the Radiologist is very concerned. So concerned that he called the Dr. and said they should schedule another MRI, ASAP. Zach goes in tomorrow morning for his 3rd MRI. They have to put him to sleep for it, MRIs are just scary.

I feel so awful for this kid. The urgency of this follow-up MRI has my brother so nervous. He knows that this is serious and because of his profession and his rapport with Zach's Dr., he knows more than the rest of us. Tim is afraid that it is a tumor. He discussed the Radiologist's remarks with his Dr. (the neurologist) and they found something at the base of his skull. It has tendrills and is touching his spinal column. It sounds like a tumor. A tumor would mean cancer. This particular tumor would affect his heart, because of where it is. Zach has a murmur as it is so this added stress on his heart could be devastating. Sigh... this poor kid.

As the aunt, I'm so torn between being extremely sad and trying to be very supportive to my brother and sister in law. They need strength around them but when it comes to kids, I just get mushy. He's so young and helpless and it really gets to me. Kids are my soft spot. Plus, Zach is a really special kid. He has this amazing courage and spark in his eye. He fears nothing and is 100% boy. He'll break something and when you ask him if he did it, he says "Yep. It was me!" He's so cute. It breaks my heart that he's so sick.

So, I feel that all I can do is drive down and just be there for their family. Zach is turning 4 on the 13th so we'll celebrate by taking him bowling and get some pizza. Whatever that kid wants to do, I'll do it. I'm so worried that he won't be here for another birthday. That is just awful, isn't it...

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